(I copy-pasted this from my other personal blog. I wrote this a few days ago and felt it was relevant to what I’ll be posting about on here.)
So. Saturday night was actually a big night for me.
I had Bible study with three of my pals from church, and it was fun like always, of course. We were studying James 1:19-28 I think, and somehow the topic of having a solid relationship with God and with your spouse came up. The three friends I was with were all female and straight, and as some of you may know I am, in fact, female and gay, so I didn’t necessarily contribute a lot to that part, but when I did someone would elaborate/build off/etc what I’d just said with “Well you and your husband this,” when I would specifically use the term “spouse” and not “husband.”
So none of them knew I was gay, obviously; it’s not something I’d been really been itching to make known with my friends I knew from church (for fear of them rejecting who I was, or just flat out rejecting me in the end). So I don’t blame them for saying it, but eventually the thought of keeping it from them started gnawing at me and so eventually I was like “Ah fine,” and reluctantly told them. I immediately recoiled because I started thinking Crap, what if they don’t agree, do they hate me now, is this gonna be uncomfortable and weird, oh no oh no oh no..
and I literally was about to cry because the conversation went something like:
Me: I don’t… like guys… I might actually like.. uh, well..
Friend 1: Well, there’s only one other option, so. And that’s perfectly fine! There’s nothing wrong with that.
Friend 2: Yeah, as Christians, we’re not called to judge others for their - well, to judge others at all, really.
Friend 3: I mean, you’re still the same person I know and love and that doesn’t change the way I see you at all.
And the conversation afterwards just continued normally; nary a hint of weirdness whatsoever.
And I don’t know I just felt kind of overwhelmed with the fact of wow I’m surrounded by these people who love me unconditionally and it’s such an amazing feeling to know that they understand and still love me and it literally changes nothing about me and they understand and accept it and don’t look at me or see me differently and - Okay, I’ve gotta slow down.
My biggest fear was what their reaction would be. I specifically told them “Once I say this, I can’t exactly take it back, and it might actually turn out to be this terrible stigma you see me with for the rest of my life at this church.” A lot of Christians (actually, most Christians in general) are branded with the idea that they are entirely close minded and are more willing to eat animal feces than show compassion to someone who is of a different sexuality.
When crazy extremist Christians have absolutely zero tolerance with varying sexualities, it kills me a little inside because, well, they preach hate. They preach hate when really the foundation of their beliefs is supposed to be grounded unconditional love an acceptance for every life on this earth. Why they miss that entire point confuses me to no end.
But it’s not like that for everyone. Not every Christian is hateful, not every Christian is opposed to the idea of other sexual preferences, and not every Christian thinks that a person is based on their sexuality. As I learned from my dearest friends that night, there are open minded and religious folks out there. Being part of the LGBT Christian community, I do find myself open minded, but that’s not the point I’m making. The point I’m making is that love is out there, and no one should feel condemned or vindicated by those who preach hate.
So for a moment, I want to thank God for how fortunate I am to be surrounded by people who are legitimately fine with who I am, love, accept, and appreciate me. And I just feel so incredibly blessed that they have such true and unconditional love in their hearts.
I have hope for the future.